Tuesday, March 29, 2011

new habits

I'm stressed. I was up from 3 am to 5 am this morning with cramps, so I got a total of 5 hours of sleep, and none of it was continuous. I was up at 7:45 and at work by 8:30. I then left there at 4:30 to go teach at 5:30 until 7:30. I'm exhausted, I'm pms-ing... and did I mention my mom is having major back surgery tomorrow? And that I wont get to see her for over two weeks? I'm stressed and I'm freaking out.
But I didn't want to undo all of my effort. I'm hungry, but I'm afraid to eat. So far today I had a honey bran muffin, a peach latte, raspberry greek yogurt, a string cheese, and a 6 in turkey and cheese on wheat sandwich from subway. Huh. Other than the latte, I guess I really didn't eat that much today. I think that I had psyched myself out, thought that I had eaten a lot of food. But, it's also almost 10, and there's really no reason to eat, I hate eating right before bed, it makes it a lot harder to go to sleep.
Anyway, what I was trying to say is that usually, when I'm stressed, I eat. When I'm pms-ing, it's like a free pass to eat chocolate and sodium filled soup. But today I wanted to run. I wanted to take my stress and exercise it off. And I didn't have the time. It was way dark by the time I got home. So I wouldn't eat. I couldn't exercise. I needed something else to do. So I took a medium long, hot shower. Good for the cramps, good for the stress. I'm now sitting here, typing away with a coconut candle as my only light, the warm light is comforting and hopefully soothing. It's a good step toward changing my habits. Making it so that food is not the automatic response to any of my emotions.

1 comment:

  1. Go Kathy! I'm really glad that you're finding other ways to cope with the stress.

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