I hit a real rough patch the other day, and I'm still struggling a bit with a deep sadness about something that I can't fix. But it's part of the reason why I'm so dedicated and determined to change the way I look, to get healthy. I want to be a healthy person, the kind that doesn't worry about whether I can do something or not.
There was a moment over the summer when I was hiking with my friends in Big Bear. Not only was I able to keep up much better then I ever had, I was able to do something I didn't think I'd be able to do. I climbed a large rock formation. A year ago I would have passed because I knew that I couldn't do it, but this summer I was able to get past that worry and do it anyway. I want to remember that moment for the rest of my life. I want to be the kind of person who doesn't worry about being able to things, just enjoy the fact that I can.
I finally took the time to go running today. On the treadmill. I felt like I hit that perfect burn, where I wasn't breathing too hard, my legs didn't hurt, but I was sweating like you wouldn't believe. It felt great. Tomorrow I plan on attacking the hills around my brother's hills, to work the muscles, but today I was straight cardio. I've been losing, I've been on track. I want to do the best I can, so I can be the best I can be.
And while I'm still depressed about certain aspects in my life, I'm so thrilled with my progress that it evens out. And I can live with that :D
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