Tuesday, November 27, 2012

giving up

I've told myself that I just freaking quit about three times today.  And I know it isn't true, I can't afford to quit, but I can't keep going this way either.  I actually cried over my scale this morning, a definite low point.  But what else can I do?  I was actually fairly close to my points over the holiday and really good the two days I was home.  My result? I was up 5 lbs.  Weight Watchers was kind enough to let me know that my average weekly loss is officially 0.  Three months of work and I have lost 0 total. 

How can someone not be completely disheartened by such results? 

I work out, I eat decent and healthy, I monitor my intake and my output.  I don't know what else I might possibly do.  And I know you can't expect immediate results, and I know that weight fluctuates, but I think at this point we can pretty much look at the graph and see that I have completely failed.  There are no reasons, no excuses.  For some reason, my body just doesn't want to give up the lbs and so I remain exactly the same. 

I know this post is a little maudlin.  But that's how I feel.  Something has to give because I can't keep fighting this hard without any thing to show for it. 

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