So, after weeks of watching the Biggest Loser, I've realized a huge part of what I need to be doing is thinking about why I eat the way I do. It's not really the regular every day eating that gets me. It's the mad cravings for whatever and the binge eating that inevitably ensues. So what triggers these binges? Turns out, lots of things!
Last week, I was not doing the one thing I knew I needed to do, which was find a job. I wasn't even really trying, which made me feel a bit like a failure. At first, I was exercising so that I could control something, but then I didn't lose two days in a row and I went back to eating. Lessons learned: 1) don't weigh every day and 2) exercise is not a quick fix, it's a long term improvement, so don't rely on it to fix all my problems.
Second trigger: celebrating. This one I blame on my uprising, we always celebrated with food. So I went to the grocery store and bought 2 cheddar buns, some cream cheese and a bag of chips. I was NOT planning on eating it all. I feel sick. I need to come up with some other way of celebrating. I think if I had had the money I would have gone out to do something, or if I had someone to go celebrate with. But no, I stayed home and I ate. and ate. and ate.
So, I'm chalking this up to live and learn, and I start again tomorrow. Or maybe not start again, just jump back on the wagon. Starting tomorrow, I'm going to have some place to go four days a week. I'll figure out an exercise program, a better eating regiment, and for the final push, I'm going to start creating other habits for myself. I have to keep telling myself: this is not a diet, it's a life change. It's not a sprint, it's a marathon. And the best part, I now have a date for my 5k, I have a hard goal. And a great support base. Here we go!
In December, I lost 11 lbs. So far in January, I've lost 3. My goal is 5. I have 30 days to lose 2 lbs.
