Tuesday, November 30, 2010

Day 3!

So, part of the reason I decided that I had to change, and that now was the time, is that about two weeks ago, I got a surprise in my mailbox. Some one has apparently decided that I needed a subscription to SHAPE magazine. My first instinct was to be insulted. I mean, really? It's like sending someone with bad breath a huge pack of gum. But then, I decided to take it as a helpful suggestion. Someone loves me enough to risk hurting my feelings in order to help save my life. Lets face it. I'm 25 years old and have weighed over 200 lbs since my sophomore year of high school. My health is on the line. So I sat down to read it.

SHAPE magazine is not exactly aimed at me. It's aimed more at women who are slightly overweight and want to lose it, or who are in fairly decent shape who want to tone more. But, there are some recipes in it that are going to be useful and while the exercises are out of my league currently, they give me great ideas. But really, what I got out of it was inspiration. It helped motivate me. By reading about so many women who were eating healthy and exercising made me want to do so too. It's what got me to finally hook up my Wii. I got a second SHAPE and started reading. Then I got a third. Apparently they were trying to catch up, so I now have October through December. And they are keeping me motivated.

The December issue was very useful last night when I started my monthly. Usually, I use this time of the month as an excuse to splurge. But because I've been doing so well (and yes, I know it's only been two days) I didn't want to ruin it. So I grabbed some tea and sat down to read some inspiration.

So it's Day 3. It's going to be a light exercise day, for obvious reasons, but my eating habits are going to stay the same. Pure determination.
I've always been a master of procrastination. One might even call me a procrastination artist. So it comes as no surprise to anyone in my life, including me, that it is December and I am just now getting started on my "new life" with a serious passion. On January 1st, 2010, I realized that I weighed more than ever before and that I felt awful. When I weighed myself, I was absolutely horrified that I was at 294 lbs. More, I was terrified that I was that close to 300 lbs, a weight I had always promised myself that I would never reach. I promised myself that by the end of the year, I would be down to 250, a weight lower than I had been for five years. All I had to do was figure out how.

The first 15 lbs were easy. They weren't really mine, they were holiday weight, pounds I had packed on due to stress and holidays. I was working on my Master's thesis (which I had, surprise!, procrastinated on) and I was using food as a way to allow myself constant breaks. That was the first thing to change. I called up my friend Katie, who was working on her semester of student teaching, and we both decided we needed to start walking. We also decided to get together and work at the local Starbucks. I don't tend to eat as much when I'm around others.

I was doing well until the time period of my thesis came closer and closer, and then I moved. I moved from a place were I was comfortable, with supportive friends and a live in exercise partner, to San Diego, where I knew very few people, was incredibly uncomfortable, and was stressed, not only with trying to finish my thesis but also with trying to find a job in education in the worst job market ever. I was determined that with the new life, I was going to start eating healthier. And I did. I had moved in with my brother who talked me into eating fewer carbs and more vegetables. We were able to talk each other into eating healthier and I now had access to an in home treadmill. I dropped down to 272. And stayed there.

In September, the job that I loved dropped most of my hours, giving me lots and lots of time at home with nothing to do. And then my brother moved away. So for September through November, I sank into what can only be called a depression. I was home alone almost every day. And I ate. I started off eating more, but keeping to the healthier foods, but that didn't last all that long. Soon, I was back to eating the foods that I found comfortable. The irony is, they didn't taste better, they just were emotionally comforting. It was the only way I could feel control, to allow myself to eat the foods my brain was telling me I wanted.

The day before Thanksgiving, I weighed myself. 280. Not too bad, considering how bad my habits had gotten, but not exactly great either. But that left me 30 lbs away from my year end goal with a little over one month to lose it. My procrastination enzyme kicked in and I decided it was time. For this one month, I was going to do things right.

The first thing I did was adjust my goal. I didn't feel I could lost 30 lbs in one month in a healthy way. So I halved it. My new goal is 265 lbs by the end of the year. At my weight, 15 lbs in one month isn't too unattainable.

The next thing I did was finally set up my Wii. This might seem counter-intuitive, but trust me, this was a good thing. By setting up my Wii, I now had 5 ways to get in exercise every day. 1) half an hour on the Wii Fit, which is fun, easy and a very effective way to get back in the game. 2) walking on the treadmill, with one minute bursts of jogging, which is good cardio. 3) a walk around the neighborhood with my dog, low impact but easy to accomplish for those lighter motivation days. 4) just getting up and dancing while I listened to music or watched tv, for those days when I feel very random. 5) EA Active, a very useful work out for the Wii. Now instead of the debate of too exercise or not, it's a debate of just which one am I going to do.

The third thing I did: grocery shop. I ate a little first, it's never smart to go food shopping when you are hungry. Then I wrote out a list. I bought lots of fruits and veggies, both fresh and frozen. But more importantly, I decided that for the month of December, I was going to be very careful about what I was going to eat. Before noon, Oatmeal and fruit. That's it. For lunch, either a wrap or a salad and carrots. For snack, a 100 cal pack of whatever I wanted. Sensible dinner planned out a head of time. For dessert, either a WW dessert or, if I was still hungry, a bowl of Special K cereal, the chocolate kind!

So that's the plan. This blog is to keep my motivated, for my own personal use. I'm not expecting any one to read it. But I figure, why not? Let's see what happens!